How to be More Resilient

Ever wondered what makes some people thrive in adverse circumstances? How can you be more resilient and bounce back and even grow through setbacks?

Inspired by my absolute favorite, life-changing book – The obstacle is the way by Ryan Holiday.

Ancient Greek philosophy of stoicism has been synonymous with resilience The goal of a stoic is to be impervious to pain or pleasure and develop the ability to go through extreme stress without being overwhelmed.

When I read this book, I realized, this the philosophy I was meant to follow. You just know when you find something you relate with instantly. It’s true what they say, when the student is ready, the master appears. Reading this book has started me on this wonderful journey of finding out more about the stoic way of thinking and living and adopt it in my own life albeit, in a small measure.

I found I did not have to memorize the principles of this way of life, I could relate to them on a deeper level and just knew what I had to do to follow through on this path. These principles have helped me through countless challenges – big and small and have helped me preserve my sanity.

Stoicism focuses on developing a mental frontier that no adversity can scale through. The core of this philosophy in simple terms would be, nothing or no one can make you think what you do not want to think. No one can take away the freedom of your thought.

So how can you get better at being resilient? There are 3 pillars of resilience – Perception, Action and Will.

Perception

The trait that sets resilient people apart is their perception. They see situations for what they are. neither as good, nor as bad. They do not exaggerate their problems when talking about them to make themselves look like victims or indulge in self-pity. They identify as fighters and survivors and not victims.

Once, perception changes, acceptance follows , simply accept the situation as it is.

Resilient people have an internal locus of control. They generally consider outcomes to be a result of their own efforts or lack thereof, and not attribute outcomes to external events.

Action

Resilient people are flexible in their thoughts and ideologies. They are quick to accept when they are in the wrong. They try to exert control over their own thoughts and actions rather than expending energy to change external environment.

They are creative when it comes to problem solving and think of challenges as opportunity to surpass their own perceived limitations. They try to use deliberation and strategic thinking rather than brute force.

Will

Once you master perception and develop action strategies, there is a third factor that can prove to be the Trump card for anyone. It’s your personal will and attitude.  This is what turns a situation around. What keeps one from giving up in the face of seemingly unsurmountable odds. This is what enables people to use obstacles to their advantage and thrive in even the darkest of times.